“Fighter Control, this is Fighter jet Delta Romeo Alpha Mike, seeking permission to drop to an altitude of 100ft for  high speed low level flight across Loch Ness”. 

 

“Fighter jet Delta Romeo Alpha Mike, this is Fighter Control. Permission given, descend to 100 ft for a high speed low level flight across Lima November. Take your aircraft down the middle of the Loch”.

 

“Fighter jet Juliet Oscar Charlie Kilo, this is Fighter Control.  Take up your position alongside Fighter jet DRAM and accompany. Stay above 300 ft and skim the edge of the Loch”.

 

In unison, “Roger Fighter Control, DRAM and JOCK descending”.

 

“This is Fighter Control – Lessie if you can wake Nessie!!! It's time to Shake, Rattle, and Roll”

 

A few seconds later…

 

“Mayday, Mayday, this is Fighter jet Juliet Oscar Charlie Kilo declaring an emergency. I have acquired a mysterious foreign object on my fuselage…”

 

“Fighter jet JOCK, this if Fighter Control. Is the mysterious object grey in colour, with tail, flippers and a long neck?!”

 

“Fighter Control, this is JOCK – not quite…"

 

"It’s a bloke on a mountain bike. He's ramped off the edge of the mountain, pulled an air brake manoeuvre and landed on my plane. Wait a minute - he’s scrawling something on my canopy using a strawberry energy bar high in colourant”.

 

Fighter jet JOCK, this is Fighter Control. Did you say he's high on colourants?"

 

" Negative, Negative. I can't make out what the message says because it's back to front..."

 

“JOCK, its DRAM here, I can read the words from my upside down Topgun style inverted flying position”.

 

“It says – John O Groat’s NOW – or you and Nessie end up in the same puddle!”

+++++

A true story, but not quite. It is true that as we cycled along the tree line high above Loch Ness we saw and then heard the approach of two fighter jets flying at very low level over the water. We also believe it to be true that they were attempting to wake Nessie or similar.

The bloke on the bike… Well I did think about it for a while. But my top speed of 33.5 miles per hour down one of the tracks was no match for the Mach 1 of the aircraft.

 

I did wish that I could find a faster way to get to JOG. It had something to do with the punishing climbs we endured today. Starting off from Fort Augustus we had false ideas that the cycling would be easier. But after a few nasty surprises we realised that the route inventor was serious when he mentioned a total height of 6000 ft ascent for the day.

 

The three worst climbs were located
1/ behind the “last gift shop for 35 miles” at Invermoriston
2/ the ridiculously steep hill going to Upper Drumbuie
3/ a long section of the Great Glen Cycle Route in between the other two nasties.

 

When I finally arrived at our campsite in Contin I had a shower, ate supper, then collapsed into bed at 8.45 p.m.

 

I lay comatose for an hour before waking up to write the draft for my blog entry.

 

I noticed that my heart was pounding and was palpitating, skipping its job about five to seven times in a minute (It could just be doing a double beat).

 

The point is, its angry and its fatigued.

 

So, time I said good night, time I rested up, for there are three more days to go, and no Jock or Dram to do the remaining distance for me.

 

I shall leave out, but just mention the two mile trek through mud we had to contend with at the top of Drumbuie. Fun for boys of all ages!

 

Bye for now

 

Gavin